I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
