your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
