Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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