tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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