dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
