I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Randomize
