office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
