if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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