party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
