I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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