I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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