im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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