They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
