At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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