Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize