Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
oh god the rape fog is back!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
