i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
