I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize