Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
