We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
