Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
