question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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