Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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