I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
