I can tuck mytits in my pants
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
