She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
