come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
