It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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