I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
