3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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