So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
BRING THE BAGELS
When are your genitals available?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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