Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
