my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
