I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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