Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
