epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
