he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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