all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
