obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
