i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
