We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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