I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
