hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
