He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
