can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
