You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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