Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
a search helicopter?!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
