Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
