I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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