one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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