yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
