im having a threesome with these popsicles
of course. lets lasso hookers.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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