How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
