Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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