Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
