The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
