You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
