i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
