***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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