Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
