Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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