Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize