Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm really busy with my period
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